Thursday, April 21, 2011

Everything in Moderation

Life has gotten tough lately.

So tough, in fact, that I ceased to see the positive aspects of it for a while... at least for a good half-year now.  For example, I noticed at the end of last autumn, as I looked out the front window of the office where I work, that the leaves on the ground were a really brilliant yellow.  It was really shocking for me, because it drove home that I hadn't noticed the color in the world for a long time.  I usually love the brilliant colors as the trees turn and the air gets nippy, but this past year I missed the whole season, lost in depression and anxiety -- a whole world of grey.

It has taken a toll on my relationships as well.  I didn't feel very close to my wife, I had horrible fights with my family of origin.  I remained close to my 2 year old daughter, but I could see that even she was sensing that something was amiss.

But then, last night, something very cool happened.  My daughter had gone to bed earlier than usual, which left my wife and I with some rare time truly alone-together.  We're both computer geek-types, and it struck me that sitting at the table, not conversing, heads buried in our respective screens would be a terrible waste of a golden opportunity.  So, I unplugged my computer, and asked my wife to turn hers off too, so we could just be with each other.  I have to admit that I was a bit scared, as the stresses of life have taken a tremendous toll especially recently, and speaking for myself -- my temper is shorter than normal.  In my mind, there was a very real possibility of the interactions not ending well.

I can't remember what we said or how the situation evolved at first, but before long, we were standing in the kitchen laughing hysterically.  I have a very dry, often cutting wit... which gets me into trouble more often than not.  That also happens to be one of those things that originally attracted my wife to me, I think.  Anyways, I said something I can't remember in response to something I can't remember... but I sure do remember the laughter.  It opened the door to more positive interaction, and we started remembering the last time we laughed hard together -- it had been about a week before at the mall.  Again, I had said something, now lost to the winds, and we both erupted.  Even our daughter responded positively to the warmth of the moment.

The end result of all this was, ultimately, this blog.  I decided that I had been focusing my entire energy on the negatives and difficulties in life, not allowing myself to see the positives.  I suggested that we start a blog together and post ONLY good things, large or small, that happen through the course of life.  It is a way of forcing us to perceive the world in a more balanced way, hence the post title, Everything in Moderation.  It was my wife who came up with the blog title, The Laugh Addicts.  I hope we can continue to share in its virtual life.

So, my first "good thing" to post is that last night, I had the best, most "real," pleasant time with my wife that I've had in months.  We didn't need to be desperately trying to claw our way out of the "hole" we perceive ourselves to be in, we simply relaxed together and enjoyed each others' company.  And that was worth more than its own weight in gold... even though I guess there's no way to weigh an abstract concept -- but I think you all get the point.

So, from here on out, let this be a place of joy and warmth, a place where we can share the little good things in life, a place of positive attitudes and maybe even some healing.

Here's to a smoother ride in the future.

-- Daddy

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